He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
