Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it because I queefed?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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