We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
