If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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