Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
