Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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