how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
