is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
