Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
