all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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