She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
