Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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