you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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