babies were throwing up all over the place
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
