Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
