Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
