do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
