Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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