woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
