I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Randomize
