OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
