May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
