New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
