i would punch a child for taco bell
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the liver wants what the liver wants
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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