ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
