Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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