It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
