Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
