the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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