his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
