This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
