Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
