fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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