Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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