so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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