Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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