Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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