grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
