90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
