I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
