IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
