and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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