Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
