Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
