sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I still have a little drunk in my system
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
