They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
