If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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