I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
