I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
