I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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