Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
