I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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