I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
